Monday, August 30, 2010

"You're a girl" and other realizations from this weekend

This weekend was pretty great.  I say pretty and not totally because (thanks to a certain friend) I came to the realization that I've got a little bit of crazy going on.  I think I knew that, but as I was describing my weekend over dinner last night it was like the clouds parted and the sun shone down on LoonyTown. 

I went to dinner last night with a good friend of mine to hear all about his weekend trip to Cali and to fill him in on my weekend with the guys.  His weekend seemed normal, fun, all that jazz, and when I began to describe my weekend he kept repeating one thing over and over and over again: "You're a girl."  By "you're a girl" what he was trying to say was, "You are absolutely crazy and these feelings that you're describing to me are only felt by the females in this world and I can't relate to you because you don't make any sense."  After thinking about it, it's obvious to me that I over analyze everything and beat it to death with a stick.  I'm going to stop that (at least as much as possible since I am a girl).

But before I stop that, let's analyze some thoughts that popped into my head this weekend!
  • I have the best girlfriends in the world:  When I didn't want to be at a party anymore, I called a girlfriend at 3:00 in the morning to come get me.  She was there in under 15 minutes.  The next morning when everyone was still asleep and I needed to talk, I called another girlfriend and asked her to go to brunch with me.  Again, 15 minutes.  I love that they're there for me at the drop of a hat, and I hope they know that I would do the same for them.
My hot mess of a self getting picked up for brunch
  •  I need to eat: When I was 17, I was anorexic and severely underweight.  I was the same height that I am now (5'8") but I hovered around 110-115 pounds and thought I was disgusting and huge.  Looking back at pictures it was apparent I had a problem.  I looked like a walking skeleton.  At this point in my life I am no where near that low weight, but sometimes I catch myself not eating and I have to physically force myself to eat whatever is on my plate.  I'm talking independently think about each action: pick up food, open mouth, put food in mouth, chew chew chew, swallow, repeat.  It's so strange because I'll feel full, like I stuffed my face 15 minutes before, but in reality it will have been hours since my last meal.  It happened a lot this weekend, and I noticed it and it scared me.  I'm constantly dieting (that's another girl thing, right?), but I try to be healthy about it and, ya! 
  • Making out is fun!:  If you're a participant...
  • Sugar-free Red Bull is the best drink on the planet:  Everyone complains about the taste, and possibly the jittery feeling, but I love everything about the heavenly nectar.  I actually love the taste!  It's my perfect pick-me-up beverage.  When I'm feeling the the least bit tired I drink a can and I immediately feel refreshed.  Literally immediately.  It takes only seconds.  This is probably one of those mind over matter things, but I wouldn't give up my SFRB for anything.
The big cans are better!
  • Affirmations are wonderful (and not given out nearly enough): I met up with my college roommate and her current roommate (two girls who I love ridiculous amounts).  The three of us went to the pool and chit chatted for awhile.  Then we started just giving each other affirmations, which are so great!  I left that evening feel so good about myself and loving my friends even more.  
  • I'm a child:  My college roommate gave me two awesome gifts: a velcro paddle ball and a ribbon dancer ribbon!  (This is going to be me someday!)  Another friend gave me Dots because no one else wanted them because they're the best candy in the world!  All of these things made me so happy.  It was like Christmas!
  • I'm selfish: When asked why I love Dots so much, it wasn't because of the gooeyness of the candy when you bite into it, or the bevy of flavors, or even the brightly colored candies themselves.  I love Dots because no one else does.  Sharing isn't necessarily one of my strong points.  (I'm an only child.)  When I go to the movies and get a box of candy, I don't want to share it!  If I go to the grocery store and pick up some candy to munch on later that week, I want it to be there when I go for it!  If you choose a universally delicious candy, like chocolate covered raisins or Skittles or Junior Mints, those babies have a very short life span.  When you choose Dots, they will stay on that shelf until you're done with 'em! 
 That's what I realized this weekend.  Don't you feel like you know me just a little bit better now that you've gotten a peek inside my mind?

Including the crazy, the weekend was quite eventful!  There was
ghetto club dancing,
That is the best Tres Leches cake ever!
a birthday, late night FINA tacos,
an end to sobriety (bottomless mimosas--hold the orange juice), pool days, night swims, a shower with four people shampooing each other, multiple Red Bull runs,
new friends,
new aviators, and a restful ride home.  Thanks for driving this weekend C!

UPDATE!  I totally forgot about this song that was brought to my attention last night by my roommate and then sent to me by my college roommate.  Thanks for making this a part of my life.  Forever & Always Your "Home Home Homeboy," Nicole

Friday, August 27, 2010

I can't wait to sleep in tomorrow

This week I have not been home before midnight once, and I'm completely and utterly exhausted.  That's okay though because my week was well worth it!  I've been bowling, visited a new bar in West Campus the day before UT classes began (and felt very old--I'm almost 24!!!), and went to The Velveeta Room's Open Mic Night in hopes of seeing Dave Chappelle.  Monsieur Chappelle has been seen out and about Austin for the past week or so and it was rumored that if he were to do stand up, it would be at the Open Mic Night.  No such luck.  It wasn't a total waste because there were some very funny comedians (and some awkwardly terrible ones as well)!

This weekend I'm heading to The Big D!  I'm really excited because I'm going to see some of my besties in the whole wide world (and I can't wait to hizzity hang and do things that are only fun and funny with them and no one else because inside jokes are the best and I love them sooooo much!!!).  We have big plans to watch Titanic II on Saturday night.  It's going to be EPIC!!!  This is the movie of the year and I will be shocked if it doesn't win awards in every single category--Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Picture, Best Director, Best Costumes, Best Special get the picture.

Tonight we're celebrating a girl's birthday.  I don't know her, but as evidenced by the past week, I obviously can't say no to a party (or social gathering of any kind).  So somehow I'm going to make it to Dallas, make it to a bar, stay awake in the bar, and then proceed to enjoy the inevitable after-party at someone's place before passing out until the late hours of Saturday morning.  My precious baby puppy-monster Cooper is staying with Grandma for the weekend, otherwise I'd have a 7 am wake up call to the tune of barking.

I hope you have an absolutely fantastic weekend full of friends and sleep!

 Next week, in addition to Loves Nicole, I will be contributing the Envisage blog-- a collaboration of women who share one picture a day.  Here's my bio!  Check it out starting on September 1st!

On a sad note, my very best and oldest friend lost her four-legged best friend today.  Rest in Peace, Hugs.  You will be missed by everyone who knew you.  Have fun in the afterlife carrying your bowl of food around and giving people sweet hugs.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Date from Hell

Do you remember my post last week about some of the worst dating experiences I've ever encountered.  Here's the full story of the "guy who got so drunk on our date I feared for my life on the drive home."

I met Tyler* while working at a tanning place my second year of college.  It was an easy job and I had a nice glow year round.  (I know tanning is bad.  I don't do it anymore.)  Tyler was a regular tanner.  He came at the same time everyday and used the stand up "bed."  My first clue that this guy royally sucked should have been the fact that he tanned at all.  Ahhhhh naïveté... 

Tyler was older than I was by about 5 years, but he seemed like a nice enough guy so when he asked me out on a date I said sure!  [Note to guys: unless a girl is taken or is utterly disgusted by you, it's unlikely she'll turn you down for a date]  From the get-go it was a disaster.

He picked me up from my sorority house and was flabbergasted by how big the house was.  Granted my sorority house is big and is really beautiful.  It's an historical home and furnished beautifully, but the way he was commenting on everything made me feel extremely uncomfortable.  Complimenting a home by saying, "your home is stunning/beautiful/lovely/"whatever nicety you use" is perfectly acceptable.  Saying, "Damn!  Your house is huge.  I gotta take a piss."...not so much. 

After Tyler took his "piss" we headed out on our date.  Being the gentleman that he obviously was, he opened my door and closed it.  He closed it because there was no door handle on the inside of the passenger door.  I could overlook that though.  Not everyone has a nice car or even a car, so door handle, schmoor handle.  Who needs it!

He let me know we were going to play pool at Slick Willies and then go to his favorite restaurant for dinner.  The restaurant was to be a surprise.  Playing pool was uneventful and even a little enjoyable.  I learned that Tyler was a vet from the war in Iraq and he was attending classes at a nearby university while also trying to make it on their baseball team.  Patriotic, scholarly, athletic...all great qualities.  So far, so good-ish.  I still wasn't over the "piss" comment.  I really detest that word.

Our next stop was his favorite restaurant, Pappasito's Cantina.  When we walked up it was obviously packed and we were told the wait was 45 minutes.  [If you recall, I'm really weird about getting hungry and will get angry/sad when I have to wait too long for food.  (I'm such a fat kid...)]  It had been a while since I had last eaten (pre-date jitters) so I was starving.  I suggested we go across the highway to Carrabba's Italian Grill and he begrudgingly complied. 

But first he needed to take another "piss."  Strangely, Tyler wasn't able (or willing) to go at the restaurant we were currently at nor could he wait until we arrived at the restaurant directly across the highway.  He wanted to go to his apartment up the road.  Sirens were going off in my head, but I was trapped not only on this date but by his car as well because of the severe lack of door handle.  We arrived at his apartment and he asked if I wanted to come in.  Apprehensively, I agreed but told myself I would would stay in the living room and not go any further.  (STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!)

Tyler's apartment smelled like cat litter.  He didn't have a cat.  It was really dirty and the 70s had thrown up all over his decor.  I waited in the entry while he went to the bathroom.  After waiting for what seemed like forever, he still hadn't emerged but called me back to his bedroom.  Reluctantly, I went but stayed in the doorway.  He was sitting on his water-bed motioning for me to come see something he had and I obliged because I didn't want to seem rude or creeped out by him.  I was very creeped out.  There was a water-bed.  He showed me some shadow box that I truly could not have cared less about.  I just wanted out of that place!  He then pulled me in to kiss me and I pulled away saying, "Alright, why don't we go to the restaurant now?"  Again, he begrudgingly complied.

At that point, I was done with the date and would have happily gone home.  That didn't happen.  We went to Carrabba's and were seated.  I looked at my menu, but Tyler was more interested in the cocktail menu.  I ordered my entree and he ordered Jäger Bombs.  Too bad for him, they didn't have Red Bull.  Not surprisingly he was fine with straight Jägermeister.  I was so embarrassed.  I ate my meal quickly so that I could get out of that situation as soon as possible.  I half expected to pay for my portion, but Tyler paid for my dinner as well as his shots.

We left the restaurant and started driving back towards campus (or so I thought).  He started to take the U-turn to head back to his apartment.  I not-so-calmly asked where we were going and he said, "We're going back to my place to watch a movie."  I quickly corrected him before he could make the turn and demanded he take me home.  Tyler seemed really angry about this, and the Jägermeister in his system probably didn't help his mood.  He began to swerve while we were on the upper deck of the highway.  I was so scared because I realized he was drunk and I was literally trapped in his car.  I started thinking about what would happen if we crashed.  What if I died?  People would think I was dating this fool!  I was so repulsed and terrified at the same time, and I had no idea what to do. 

Miraculously, I made it back to my sorority house in one piece.  Tyler tried to kiss me again.  I backed away again.  He didn't walk me to the door and thankfully, I never heard from that poor excuse for a man ever again.

*Name has been changed (even though he deserves to be shamed for his behavior)

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Guilty Pleasure

I have a secret guilty pleasure: Wedding videos. 

It doesn't matter if I know the couple or not, I love watching "the happiest day of their lives."  The love and beauty of a wedding always makes me tear up.  The most recent wedding video I saw was no different and I'd like to share it with you.

Coco + James // Short film from Americana Cinema on Vimeo.

After Party Crashers

This past week was Fashion Week in Austin, and I really could not have cared less.  I can't do my hair (hello, hair dye job FAIL) so I usually just put mousse in it and run out the door.  I'm not a size 2 (or even close).  I can't afford ridiculously priced designer clothes (shoes are a different story).  But I do like parties so when I heard the after party for the Awards Show was being held at the Frost Bank tower I knew I was going.  Did I have an invite?  Does it matter?  (Answer: no.)

My good friend Marla came to my apartment to get ready for the night.  I figured the best way to look fashionable was to wear something that completely doesn't go with the ensemble so you look a little bit stupid.  So I wore a Marilyn Monroe-esque dress with Betsey Johnson black and silver pumps and made my hair really big.  FASHION!

Marla wore a tiny little black dress with black heels and a bright blue necklace to accent her pretty red hair, and she looked so pretty!  I did our makeup and Marla was concerned the purple eyeshadow I used on her made her look like she had been punched.  It didn't.  Whatever.

I drove to the Tower and admittedly, I was a little nervous.  I honestly didn't know if this was going to work.  I work in the Tower, but not on the top floor that the party was on, and I not only didn't have an invite but didn't attend one Fashion Week event during the week.  Good thing I'm good at bullshit!  My BA in English did teach me something.

We go to the elevator bank and there are three skinny ass girls in really cute cocktail dresses blocking the way.  One has a clipboard. 

"Nicole Kennedy.  I work here."
"Ok, you're not on the PGI list.  Let me text my supervisor and see if you're on the list upstairs."
.....waiting, waiting, waiting...
"Ok he's not texting me, but you have your badge so you can go ahead and go on up."

We go upstairs, get off the elevator and it is packed.  The food smelled amazing.  There was free booze everywhere.  And we were on the top floor of the Frost Bank Tower!  Sweet!  We wandered around and people watched a bit, looked out the window, took some pictures, and then I got really bored.  It was so "see and be scene" which was to be expected but is still obnoxious. 

After about 45 minutes we were ready to go.  As we approach the elevator bank to head downstairs we see they're giving swag bags away!  SCORE!  I love free things! 
It had goodies like a water bottle, notepad, free hair treatments, free meals at restaurants, discounts at stores and spas...lots of stuff!  Even if the party wasn't all I thought it would be I think it was a success solely because of the swag bag.  Did I mention I love free?  I hope they have the party here again next year!

Monday, August 23, 2010

The weekend of amazing stories!

This weekend was pretty fabulous not just for me, but for the entire world as well!  I got to work (almost late!--damn elevator traffic) this morning and checked my two usual websites for news snippets I might find interesting (MSN and Perez Hilton- both very scientific and knowledgeable news outlets about all things current) and hot damn!  There are some crazy things going on in the world.

Perhaps the majority of people are completely aware of everything that goes on in the world because you have TV or an interest in it...or something.  I don't have TV.  I don't like TV.  Not ordering cable was one of the best decisions I've ever made because I get out of my apartment so much more.  I'm more social (which is hard to believe) and my life is just more fun and exciting and full in general without the burden of have "my shows."

Anyway, the top stories that caught my eye (and that hopefully you'll find interesting too!) are:

  • Miners in Chile have been stuck in a mine for 17 days and all 33 ARE ALIVE!  What absolutely wonderful and amazing news, especially for their loved ones to hear!
  • I thought Austin traffic was terrible until I read this.  60 miles.  9 days.  No thank you.
  • Sookie and Bill got married IN REAL LIFE this weekend!  (Note: I have yet to catch up on the 3rd season because it's not on DVD yet :-[ )
  • A traffic stop resulted in a surprise birth!
  • I think I only like this guy because he's Texan.  Southern boys are my Achilles heel.  So pretty. *Sigh*
I hope everyone's weekend was just as wonderful and crazy and fabulous as mine!  Here's a pic from my Saturday night.  It's a little blurry but it's at the Austin Fashion Week Awards Show After Party.  No, I wasn't invited.  We snuck in.  And got swag bags.  More on that tomorrow!
And I like this picture I took on Friday.  Do you know where it is?  The picture is pretty famously associated with the restaurant.

Friday, August 20, 2010

My night in pictures

I'm super busy at work today so these pictures from last night will have to suffice:

Artsy elevator pic...on our way to 6th!
Hey, wait a minute....
I like the lighting in this
Jonny Gray taking the stage while the scheduled performer takes a break.  Jonny was better.
The bathroom at Coyote Ugly. you know I went to Coyote Ugly.
Precious Doctor Whiskers greeting me before I left for work

Have an AMAZING weekend!!  I'll be helping out at a Community Leadership Project, crashing a snazzy Fashion Week soiree, riding my bike, writing, and hanging with my pup! 

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Tainted Childhood

I went about my usual routine getting ready for work--

6:00 am: alarm goes off
6:01 am: turn off alarm
6:01 am: Cooper starts barking
6:37 am: Cooper goes back to sleep
7:15 am: second alarm goes off
7:15 am: hit "snooze"
7:15 am: Cooper starts barking
7:24 am: hit "snooze"
7:33 am: turn off alarm and get up because Cooper won't stop barking
7:35 am: walk the dog
7:45 am: feed the dog
7:46 am: take a shower
7:55 am: do my hair & makeup
8:05 am: find something to wear
8:10 am: when I should be walking out the door
8:17 am: walk out the door and see this face
8:18 am: speed to work (hopefully with no traffic or I'll be late)

My routine really can't be messed with because there isn't much leeway for screwing around.  I don't eat breakfast at home because it's more time efficient to eat it at the office.  The only thing that sucks about that is if there is a morning meeting, then I don't get to eat until 10:00 am or so.  Then I get upset.  One of the hazards of being me is that when I don't eat I get grumpy and sad at the same time, and if I'm just dying of hunger there's a chance I'll start crying.  I'm not normal.

As I was getting ready this morning a song from my childhood came on: "The Banana Song" by The Cranberries.  It is the best song EVERRRRR and it's oh so much fun to dance to and yell "BANANA BANANA" over and over again at the chorus!!!  Oh, you haven't heard of that song?  That's because most people know it as "Salvation," but my parents were cruel and didn't correct sweet, innocent baby me when "The Banana Song" came on.  I would just sing sing sing to my little heart's desire a song ABOUT HEROIN.  It was constantly on repeat during our many roadtrips.  The song ABOUT HEROIN!!!  No wonder I am who I am.   I wasn't like normal kids rocking out to Hanson or 98 Degrees (yes I was), but was rocking out to a song where the singer melodically, beautifully sings about HEROIN!  Thanks parents for allowing me to become so obsessed and in love with a song about bananas (my favorite fruit, and I'm pretty sure this song was the reason for ever even choosing a favorite fruit, because really, who has a favorite fruit besides the kid who sings about heroin?).

PS: This is a perfect explanation of how freakin delicious the Beer Brat from Man Bites Dog at the South Austin Trailer Park & Eatery.

PPS: When I told my mom what the lyrics were to this song she told me that it was okay because it was about not doing heroin.  Good call, mother.  Good call.  Parenting in the 90s at its finest.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Nicole and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Date

Men beware.  Like the illustrious Taylor Swift once said: “If guys don’t want me to write songs about them, they shouldn’t do bad things!" and the same goes for my bloggy blog (as I affectionately call it).  I don't mean it as a threat, but there's really no reason to be a complete and total asshat and think you can get away with it.

My plan is to list out my worst dating experiences (no names because I'm nice-ish) and then I will elaborate as time goes on about each one.  I also know that this list isn't nearly long enough because my memory stinks, so as I recall more and more idiotic things guys have done I will add them. 

 Nobody knows the stupidity I've seen, but they're about to:
  • Boyfriend who wouldn't let me attend fraternity mixers (or really any party) my freshman year
  • Boyfriend who ignored my phone calls and texts for over a week before finally coming out and saying he wanted to break up. 
  • Boyfriend who paid for two dates (birthday and Valentine's) total in our entire year-long relationship
  • Boyfriend who had a relationship on the side while he was away at school
  • Guy who would only allow me to come over if his roommates weren't there (I figured that one out quick)
  • Guy who didn't remember me at a party a year after we had dated
  • Guy who got so drunk on our date I feared for my life on the drive home
  • Guy who drove way too fast on a dirt road and popped a tire...on our second date.  In 100 degree weather.  In the middle of nowhere.
  • Guy who told me he wanted to be with me and to leave my boyfriend, and then left me after I did.
  • Guy (who I had been dating) who drunkenly entered my apartment after my roommate had left the door unlocked at three in the morning. 
  • The "hot and cold" guy (There's a lot of these so it's just a type.  He wants to hang out constantly for a couple days and then a week goes by with no contact.  Then it's another couple of days of consistency, then nothing.  He may ignore calls and texts too, but all of a sudden the tables turn and for a couple of days your phone is blowing up.  Then it's silent again.  Games suck, dude.  You either want me or you don't.)
  • Guy who was in love with me after one night.  Seriously.  He talked about "love languages."  No sir, no way.
  • Guy who was in love with me and wanted to "do anything to make us work" after meeting in online dating and talking for a couple of days.  He was blocked.
  • Guy who was so terrified of germs he made me use hand sanitizer after washing my hands in the bathroom before dinner.  Then when the menu touched his fork he asked if he could have mine.  He was also obsessed with the number 11.
  • Guy who had the audacity to show me a picture of his wife and children while out and about downtown and openly flirting with me.
  • And speaking of infidelity: guy who showed me the condo that he had purchased...with his fiance!
  • Guy who told me to meet him at the beach for the weekend with my friends, and then never showed up because he was too wasted to make it

I know there are many more that my little head just can't remember right now.  Please feel free to share your own terrible dating experience!  I wonder if guys have similar lists because I know for sure I'm not a saint when it comes to dating.  I'm definitely guilty of avoiding a guy's calls and texts because I didn't like him but didn't know how to tell him.  I feel bad about it, but maybe that all boils down to the whole "I'm awkward and don't know how to read people's feelings" factor."

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Great job Glamour! This is a good list!

Glamour Magazine created this list of 23 things single women wish they could tell men.  I agree with most of it!
1. Every woman could use one compliment a day.
2. We'd rather you didn't say, "I'll call you" if you really mean "goodbye." Just don't say anything — we won't think you're a jerk as we part ways for the night. And you know the saying that goes, "It's better to under-promise and over-deliver"? How about, just don't promise anything and don't deliver anything.
3. Most of us are not crazy or psycho. We can be emotional and hormonal.
4. If we catch you glancing at our chest when you're a foot away, we'll think you're rude and have no willpower. You can look, but from a distance.
5. Even the most confident among us can act needy and insecure at times. It happens when you start pulling away and we're not aware that that's what you're doing, only that you're acting funny. But oh, you should see how cool and independent most of us are when we're not dating someone.
6. Feminine hygiene commercials are silly, but don't complain about having to watch them. Try having to use them — for several days each month, I mean — for most of your life. When you complain, it makes you look insensitive. And weak. We have no sympathy.
7. Please don't yell when you think we're driving poorly, especially if we're from the west coast and we've never seen a rotary before. Just give us advice, help, or moral support. (P.S. If you stomp your foot on the ground because you think we should brake, well, it's just funny. We will brake if/when we need to.)
8. If you text, "Hows ur week goin?" we can either reply "good" and risk sounding curt (see #16) or we can send you a 400-word document. Don't put us in this position. Just don't text open-ended questions.
9. Texting a girl twice a week does not count as staying in contact. It's meaningless and a waste of everyone's time. Let her go.
10. Booty texts: weak.
11. If you're a mama's boy and you're looking for a wife, think about it: what woman wants to be #2? Consider setting boundaries and work on establishing some independence. You and your mom can have a loving relationship without being co-dependent.
12. After you do something bad, it would be so much better if you called us right away to apologize. You think it's best to wait a few days while we cool off, but what's cooling off is our feelings for you. Man up. The sooner the better.
13. The reason we're up in your grill about what time you're coming over, and the reason we're so good at communicating our own whereabouts, is that since the beginning of time our parents were making us report back to them about where we were and when we'd be home. Most of the girls I knew, including my sister and I, didn't have the freedom the boys in our neighborhood had. Then in college, out of habit, we always told our roommates when we would be home (especially if we went to school in a bad neighborhood), and they did the same.
So that's why we're like that. We've been under tight surveillance since birth and it took a lot of work just to be allowed (FINALLY) to ride our bikes un-chaperoned to the movie theater. Now we're trained. If you don't like that we're this way, take it up with our parents.
14. High heels really hurt.
15. Teasing won't bait us. Attempting to wear us down is annoying.
16. 5-word emails seem cranky. Efficient, yes. Loving, no. Greet. Ask questions. Elaborate where possible.
17. If we say we're babysitting for a friend, we did not say we want to have a baby now and that we want you to be the dad. "I'm babysitting" simply means, "I'm busy being a good friend." You are paranoid and it's embarrassing.
18. Stop talking about marrying us until you actually give one of us a ring.
19. Please be aware of how serious and in love you sound. Just say, "I like you," not, "Let's fly to Miami next month." (I thought guys were supposed to be direct.) Sure, it sounds cooler (and less vulnerable) to talk a big game about Miami, but come next month, you won't remember saying anything about Miami.
20. If a girl has pretty eyes, she has probably heard men tell her that five thousand times. It's fine to repeat the compliment, but you'll make a much bigger impression if you find something else to compliment.
21. As far as having children goes, you have the luxury of time. Appreciate it.
22. Taking us for granted is probably the worst thing you could do after cheating and lying. Since women are very good at appreciating each other, your behavior looks kinda selfish to us.
23. The word is "cherish." Do you cherish her?


When people ask about my love life, and they do (and I don't know why because I hate it), my answer depends on the person asking.  My grandma likes to ask me this question because I think she's terrified that no one from our family will ever produce offspring and therefore our family won't continue to be.  Luckily for her there's this little thing I like to call "Oops" or "Oh, look!  Two lines..." and between my dozen or so cousins and I (though obviously not together.  We originally hail from Arkansas, but we are all college educated and not Arkansans) one is bound to happen [This blog post feels really awkward.]

So anyway if my grandma asks I usually say something like "Oh I'm not seeing anyone special," unless of course, I am and then my response is, "_____ is my wonderful boyfriend and we're so happy together!"  She then asks is he's "The One" and I have to help her to realize that although she had had five bouncing babies by the time she was 23, I don't plan on marriage for a long time.

The family friend asking about my love life is given a much more realistic answer.  I can talk to the family friend pretty openly since generally I've known them since I was a child, and now we drink together.  It just makes sense.  It's like a parent without the just fun and they give me money for birthdays and graduations.  But to them I honestly say, "It's crazy.  It's out of control.  I have no clue.  Do you want another drink?  I sure do! [cue quick exit to the bar]"

My love life is crazy and I think I've narrowed it down to the exact reason why: I am so bad at figuring out what others are feeling by their facial expressions, body language, language in general, texting behaviors--pretty much every form of communication out there.  Obviously this translates into me being extremely awkward (which I am) and doing really stupid things (like texting that guy 5 times after he ignored the first 5 texts).  I generally run my texts and or phone call conversations by a friend or two to make sure I'm not being  a fumbling idiot, but sometimes I'm impatient and I want to know now.  Then I look stupid.  It's a vicious cycle-- Text dude --> No Answer --> Consult Friend --> She says DO NOT TEXT until he does --> I text anyway --> No answer.  This is the same with phone calls.  God, help me.  Someone, help me!

Oh!  And this amazing blog that I've been obsessed with for quite some time now has a section that's like "Dear Abby" except it's answered by an awesome lesbian named Amy.  Her recent advice had this little doozy on it that sent my head spinning: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, guys don’t play hard to get.

I don't even know why I didn't think of that before!  My next move in my so called "crazy" love life is to take no action.  If guys seriously don't play hard to get, then if they are interested they'll call me or text me or jump my bones.  Whatevs.  I'm done with dudes.  At least with the whole texting/calling thing.  Oh, and I'm still really confused.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Look at what I bought!

On Friday I came home to two packages, one from my grandma and one from my aunt.  My grandma always send the most awesome things and this was no exception.  She sent me an SPCA tote bag with a kitten and yellow lab puppy on it surrounded by flowers, a tshirt with a dalmatian puppy holding an American flag in its mouth, and a dream catcher.  Thank you Grandma!  My aunt sent me money--woo hoo!

After a ridiculously fun Saturday night with my wonderful friends, Andrea and I went to get some crepes from Flip Happy.  First we went to the one near South Lamar.  Closed.  Then we went to the one on South Congress, but not before passing a Moroccan Burger stand.  After looking at our crepe options Andrea tells me she's getting a burger.  A burger?  Yeah, one of those Moroccan burgers.  Ok, I'm down.  A-freakin-mazing!  I highly recommend you go try it out!  Abdou, the chef and owner, was a gem to meet, too!  The Flying Carpet--you won't regret it. 

Once we were stuffed Andrea and I set out to find out Halloween costumes (which will be a surprise until then) and first went to Lucy's In Disguise.  It's closed on Sunday, fyi.  Then we went to this total crapshow-have to dig through everything-thrift store on Stassney and South First.  I found this completely awesome wooden sculpture that looks like it could be an African Fertility God.
Of course I snatched that sucker up and it now sits next to my deer skull on my dresser.  A bag-O-baskets and a sweet Chanel look-a-like purse rounded out the purchases and we went on our merry way to the next store--Savers!  Savers is perfect for all of your costume needs.  Seriously, this store has never failed me when I'm in search of The Perfect Item to complete my look.  Golf Pros and Tennis Hos- they gotcha covered.  80s- like, duh!  And if you're in the mood for an actual, normal, every day outfit they've got that too.  I bought two precious tank tops and two more purses.  One looks like a Dooney & Burke and the other has the Chanel vibe.

So it was a weekend of Stuff.  Those are pretty few and far between nowadays, but I'm so grateful when they happen.  I hope your weekend was just as fun-filled and fabulous as mine!

Friday, August 13, 2010 is the BOMB.COM!

I feel like a middle aged woman when I admit that I am obsessed with  I don't watch the show, although I have in the past, and I have only read the magazine in the waiting room at doctors' offices, but holy crap this woman has a FANTASTIC website!  The articles are so interesting and hit every topic imaginable from relationships to spirituality to health to food to name it!

The most recent article I read was about gay men (and Melissa Ethridge) and their thoughts and experiences on being gay.  It stemmed from Robert Trachtenberg's book When I Knew and the answers are so interesting and heartfelt.  I especially liked what Melissa said about coming out to her parents and their supportive reaction: That's all that a kid needs to hear from their parents is, 'Hey, as long as you're happy, we support you.'"  Isn't that all any kid needs--gay or straight?  I hope that when I'm a parent I am supportive of my kids no matter what stupid, crazy, idiotic, lovable, creative, genius, unimaginable thing they do.  Don't worry my friends; kids are a long way off for me.  :) 

This weekend I'm getting my hair done!  It's an absolute wreck because I thought it would be a great idea to dye it from a box.  (Side note: That's not a great idea.  Don't do it.)  So off to the salon it is for me and my orange hair.  I decided to include a picture so that when my hair (hopefully) looks fabulous there can be a great before/after effect.

Have an amazing weekend!  Do something new!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

I don't get it!

Why do people use the backwards smiley face (:  It's really, unnecessarily confusing because I'm so accustomed to seeing the normal smiley face :) so when I see the flipped version I see a sad face.  Maybe my head is just going to explode or something...

In other news, I'm stoked about dinner tonight!  It's going to be AMAZING (I hope) and the amount of people just keep piling in!  I invited two, then three, then four, and now there are seven people coming.  I don't have enough chairs, but I'm sure it'll be a great time!  And hey, what are couches for if not for enjoying some delicious homemade grub?  AMIRIGHT?!

On the menu tonight is: Sour Cream Chicken Risotto with my Spicy Broccoli as the side and Sea Salt Caramel Brownies for dessert.  Ambitious, I know.  Hopefully it turns out well!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Holy cow! And I thought Charlotte Church was good...

This baby girl (and yes, she's a baby) has the voice of an angel!  But like, a 30 year old mature angel and she's 10!  Just watch Jackie singing.

In other news, American Idol auditions are going on at the Frank Erwin Center right meow Aaaaaaaaaaaand there's a movie being filmed downstairs at Annie's on Congress.  What I'm trying to say is there's going to be a whole lot of craycray going on in Austin today.  I love this city :)

Also, I get my bike back from the shop today and all I can think is I want to ride my bicycle!

Tonight that's probs all I'll be doing.  That and HOPEFULLY hanging with ma gurl Dara Do.  We had a band in the '90s-- no biggie.

Ahhhhhhh, life is sweet.  And Queen is so freakin' great!  I think I know my next itunes purchase...

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Scarcity of Love

This week marks the one year anniversary of my most recent break up.  I have been single and without a love interest for 365 days and that astounds me for one reason: I'm okay with it.  Everyone wants to be loved; it's inherent in our human nature, but I want to be loved for the right reasons and I want a love that will last.  Too often in the past I looked for love in the most obvious (read: terrible) of places--parties, bars and the like.  As a young woman, I am preparing for the love of my life. 

In my 23 short years I have learned so much about what to do and what not to do in relationships.  There have been many many many many many mistakes along the way.  Finally, I realize (truly realize and completely understand) I have to be an individual comfortable in my own skin without someone to validate me in order to have true happiness, and a significant other would only increase the happiness, not be the ultimate cause (and potential end) of my happiness.  (Damn the man who didn't tell me this fairy tale growing up!) (Side note: I love in the Sex and The City movie where Carrie reads Lily Cinderella and at the end she says, "you know this is just make believe.")

Some of the things I've been doing to be a better individual:
  • journaling
  • reading
  • learning how to cook
  • trying new activities (kayaking with Cooper, stand up paddling, running)
  • spending time by myself

It's made my life more relaxing, and I enjoy contemplating the activities of my day and thinking back to my reactions to see if I would have done anything differently.  If you have any suggestions for ways to be a better individual I'd love to hear them!

This is the article that got me thinking about writing this blog entry: