Thursday, September 16, 2010


I'm in such a weird, moody, angsty place right now, per usual, and I need to work it out.  (Oh, hey there therapist I can't afford....)

Nicole's Goals for the rest of 2010:
1.  Find passion:  I have nothing I'm passionate about.  My roommate loves exercising and doing races.  My mom likes making her dream of becoming a CPA come true...and football.  My step-dad loves golf.  My ex-boyfrand loves hunting.  My best friend loves cats and pretty pictures.  Another bff likes the NRA and theme parties.  And yet another likes domesticity.  And I....I like....?  My dog?  People liking me?  Eating?  Yeah, none of those sound good.

I used to love dancing.  I still like dancing, but I've lost all flexibility and frankly, I don't feel like spending $50 a week to realize I've lost all the skills I worked so hard to perfect throughout high school.  I love to cook, but food is so damn expensive and when a woman's got billz to pay ain't no sense in spending $10 on a ingredient from Whole Foods to create the perfect dish.  I really want running to be my passion because it's free and my dog likes it, and it would give me endorphins which is basically like Cymbalta except there are no side effects save for the occasional strained muscle.

When I was in Florida I was passionate about Jesus Christ (Hallelujah!), singing, and working for the non-profit.  Now that I'm back in Texas I don't go to church because I think my church is hypocritical and I just can't get on board with people who are totes cool with hanging with homeless people, but gays are sinners.  Well screw you too, dude!  Now I'm not a lesbian, but sometimes I want to be.  Guys are such pricks sometimes!  I constantly wonder if I'm ever going to find the love of my life, or if I'll just end up settling for some homeless dude I met at church because it's time to make babies.  (Good thing I don't go to church.)

Wow, off topic much?

2.  Make more money: Did you know that money makes the world go round?  It's not love and sure as hell isn't friends.  It's money.  You have to have money to do anything you want.  Let's say I become passionate about running, as is the plan.  I then want to sign up for a race.  Did you know marathons cost like $100-something?!?!  Yeah, they do.  And there's the training groups, the running shoes and the surprise costs of anything you ever do happy hour with your training group!  I really want to run a marathon.  Real bad.  Really, really bad.  It's actually very hard for me to get my ass of the couch and run.  I think I've done it once since living at my apartment TWO BLOCKS FROM TOWN LAKE!  Shameful.  Cooper, however, has no problem bolting through the door and sprinting to the lake.  Don't mind the cars zooming past or anything, animal.  He's a special dog.

Know what I most want to spend my money on?  A trip to visit one of my best friends who is 11 weeks preggers and is so alone and going through probably one of the hardest times of her life.  It sucks so so so so bad that I can't be there for her.  I make enough money to get by, sometimes pay all of my bills and not save anything.  Recently I took on another job working at UT games but that gig sucked so hard, and my babysitting jobs are few and far between these days.  I just hope she knows that I wish I could magically make a plane ticket appear and we could have a fun weekend like we have in the past.  I miss her so much it hurts.

3.  Make my bills disappear:  I just really need them gone.  They're hindering my day to day social life and that is just not ok.  If anyone has Fiddy-thou laying around that they don't need, I would be more than happy to take it off your hands.

4.  Cut out crappy friends: You know who are you and if you suck at being a friend then I'll suck right back!  Granted, I've been known to be somewhat aloof when I'm off in my own world doing things like thinking about my goals for the rest of 2010, but still, don't act like an asshat towards me and think everything's totes cool, because it's not.  Admit you treated me suckily, and maybe I'll forgive you.  I'll probably forgive you.  I'm better at being friends than acquaintances or enemies.

5.  Delete all the pictures of trannies from my phone from the drag show last Friday: Happy Birthday E-baby!

6.  Be a better friend/Not be selfish: I think this is more of a life goal but baby steps, people!

Annoyances:  The woman in the HEB parking lot

I think we all know my feelings on the men in blue (and I don't mean the navy) and it's that they're detestable creatures who can suck it and save the world in someone else's neighborhood.  They're generally there at the indignation of those around them, and if you could please lead to an example of where they really, truly helped a situation I probably will still think they're ignorant asses who need to get a life, just like the woman in the HEB parking lot!

Yesterday I had a stomach bug.  I didn't feel well at all.  In fact, I left work before noon because I felt so nauseous.  I came home, napped, woke up starving, and headed to the HEB down the street to get some Pepto and a deli sammich.  While there I grabbed a couple of other items, but knowing that my sweet, precious baby dog was in the car patiently waiting for me, I was pretty hasty.  When I came out my puppy was barking at me (because he's always barking) and so I started talking to him.

Me: "Cooper baby, why are you barking?"
Annoying woman: "Because you left him in the hot car.  Did you know that it's against the law to leave a dog in a car unattended and is a $1000 fine."
"Thanks for the information."
"Did you know that the temperature of a car increases 5 degrees every minute?"
"That's great."
"Well I took your license plate number down."
"My dog is fine."
"Do you want to call the cops?"
"Sure lady, let's call the cops."
"Ok, well blah blah blah I'm an annoying pest here to ruin your day blah blah blah..."

I don't remember exactly what she said next because she had hit "The Nerve."  Do you know what "The Nerve" is?  A very select few friends have seen it.  My parents have seen it.  My aunt and uncle have seen it.  Pretty much if you've lived with me, then you've seen it.  I blow up a la Mount Everest circa 1980 and shit goes down.

I'm pretty sure every expletive I've ever heard in my life was spewed at this woman, and she had her fair share of choice words for me.  It took everything in me not to get out of my car and react...violently.  You see, I have a serious problem with people giving me unwarranted advice.  A serious problem.  This stranger thought the best way to go about getting her M.O. known was to bother another stranger whose dog was fine.  He was parked in the shade with the windows down for less than ten minutes.  It was probably close to eight if we're going to get techinical.

If we're also going to get technical (and for anyone else who has to deal with people like this) here's the City of Austin ordinance regarding animals in cars:
(A) A person may not transport an animal in a motor vehicle on a public roadway unless:
(1) the animal is safely enclosed within the vehicle; or
(2) if the animal is transported in an unenclosed vehicle, including a convertible, pick-up truck, flatbed truck, or motorcycle, the animal shall be confined in a secure and appropriately sized vented container or confined in a manner that prevents the animal from falling or jumping from the vehicle or otherwise being injured.
(B) A person may not keep an animal in a motor vehicle or other enclosed space in which the animal's health or life is endangered by high temperature, low temperature, or inadequate ventilation.
      (1) A peace officer or animal control officer may, after attempting to locate the animal's owner, remove the animal from a vehicle or enclosed space using any reasonable means, including breaking a window or lock. If professional services are required to remove the animal, the owner is responsible for the cost.
      (2) A peace officer or animal control officer who removes an animal from a vehicle or enclosed space in accordance with this subsection is not liable for any resulting property damage.

So now you know and hopefully you'll be able to spit this one out at your next encounter with a do-gooder from Hell.

PS: Check out the photo blog I'm a part of!   Envisage 365

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Fall 2010 New Movies

I've seen trailers for the following movies 

Will see by myself if I have to:
Oct 1- The Social Network
Oct 22- Paranormal Activity 2
Nov 5- Megamind (It has Will Ferrell and I’m obsessed.)
Due Date (Zach Galifianikis and Rober Downey Jr.  Directed by the guy who did The Hangover)
Dec 1- Black Swan
Dec 3- I Love You Phillip Morris

Really want to see:
Sept 10- Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D
Sept 17- Easy A (It has Emma Stone.  And Adam Brody.  And Amanda Bynes.)
Devil (M. Night Shyamalan baby!)
Sept 24- Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
Oct 8- My Soul to Take
Oct 15- Red (It has Morgan Freeman AND Bruce Willis AND Helen Mirren!)
Morning Glory
Dec 10- The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Dec 17- Tron: Legacy

Sort of want to see:
Sept 17- The Town
Oct 1- Let Me In (creepy vampire kids...)
Nov 24- Red Dawn
Dec 17- Yogi Bear
Dec 22- Little Fockers
    Gulliver’s Travels

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Today's issue from a pissed off feminist

I read an article today about a news reporter that is being lashed at by the media and her peers for warranting the catcalls of NY Jets players because of her dress, and it pissed me off so much that women are continually forced to mold themselves to fit in a particular place in society rather than be accepted no matter what their size, dress or general attractiveness.  Sure, even men get ahead in life because of their good looks, but if a woman wants to be at the top of her game in the business world, she needs to wear muted colors and clothing that does not show off the parts of her body that contribute to her womanhood--her breasts and hips.  This is grossly unfair. 

The restrictions society continually imposes on women fucking piss me off.  For women like me, my small breasts never have and never will get in my way.  I can wear whatever low cut shirt I choose and not be questioned, but for a well-endowed woman or a woman with a curvaceous figure she must hide her body or be ridiculed for being slutty or worse, for asking for that sort of attention.  I get that men have a hard time looking away from cleavage.  Hell, they've been obsessed with boobs since leaving the womb, but it is completely inappropriate and unacceptable to ridicule a woman because of her looks and how she dresses, especially in a field that requires a woman to be exceptionally attractive. 

Have you seen an unattractive woman reporting from the field lately?  No.  People want to see pretty people when they watch TV, and when these women are then required to conduct post-game interviews in an all male locker room, that gives no one license to act inappropriately towards them.  She has the decency not to stare and ogle the athletes' naked bodies, and they should in turn give her the same respect.  She is fully clothed and talking about sports, not tits and ass. 

Men, get your shit together and respect the woman for who she is.  Think about if it were your sister or mother or even your future daughter being made into an object of desire and nothing more when all she is looking for is success in her field and is going about the necessary steps to do so.  Sexual harassment is immature.  Grow up.

Friday, September 10, 2010

September 11th to me

 "These acts shattered steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve." -President George W. Bush

It was a couple weeks into my freshman year of high school and the day started like any other day.  Wake up.  Get ready.  Eat breakfast.  My mom drove me to school and I met up with some friends in the courtyard to chit chat before classes. 

My first class of the day was Pre-Calculus with one of my favorite teachers.  I remember there being a buzz about the school about a plane hitting a building in New York, but I had heard this had happened at the Empire State Building so I didn't think it was a big deal.  We put the TV on until the bell rang to watch what was going on and learned that the United States were under a terrorist attack.  While we all would have rather watched the historical event happening before out eyes, our teacher made us turn off the TV.  There might have been a quiz or something, but I didn't think too much of it.  The rest of class went on like normal and then the bell rang for us to go to our second period.

The second class of the day was Starlettes, the junior varsity dance team I was on with a bunch of my friends.  As I walked to the dance gym there was more tension in the air and people were talking about what had happened.  Buildings had fallen while I was in Pre-Cal and I found out the Pentagon had been hit as well as another plane crash in Pennsylvania.  I was so scared.  I was distraught.  One of my best friend's dad was in NYC at the time, but she eventually found out that he was in a subway tunnel and wasn't in imminent danger. 

I'm not sure why I was so upset.  I know I was scared because Austin is the capital and the president's former home while he was governor, and perhaps I thought there would be a terrorist attack here.  I've always been an emotional person so I was feeling sympathetic to those who had lost a loved one.  There was such an enormous loss of life.  I don't think the teachers even knew how to deal with the situation.  School wasn't closed and we finished out the day, just to return the next day.  Everyone was very somber, very serious. 

There was a common patriotic thread that had connected everyone that day, and it could be felt around the country.  Have you ever seen so many American flags so proudly displayed everywhere you went?  Even today we as a country are more patriotic than we had been before.

Reflecting back on September 11, 2001, I am so saddened by the lives lost at the hands of extremists, and I hope that as we approach the anniversary Americans can set aside their differences and once again remember the strength of our country as a whole. 

"United we stand, divided we fall." -Aesop

Timeline of Events

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Tonight's gonna be a good night!

I am so pumped for tonight, even if I did only get two hours of sleep last night.  (It was $1 champagne night so who was I to say no to cheap alcohol?  Beeteedub, thanks for the drinks C!  =D )  Tonight I have some friends coming over to enjoy some BBQ and hang out by the pool.  The ribs have been cooking since 8:00 am this morning and I'm making spicy Mexican corn as soon as I get home.  When I went home at lunch I could smell the ribs from outside of my front door.  The meat will be falling off those babies....mmmmmmmm, my mouth is watering just thinking about it!

Enough about that since I'll post pictures and recipes tomorrow!  After the BBQ we're going downtown.  To The Dirty 6th.  I don't care that I'm way older than all of the underage kiddos down there, those drinks are CHEAP!  And it's my Friday today--WOO HOO 4 day weekend!  I really want to float the river this weekend (RIBER RIBER RIBER!!) so hopefully that happens.  Other than that I have no plans other than playing with my pup and hanging by the pool. Oh, and calling my dear ol' Grams and getting bombarded by questions about my spirituality and love life.  So that'll be fun...

One more hour of work and I'll be racing to the grocery store, picking up some cheap beer and last minute ingredients, and cooking up a storm before everyone gets to my place.  I need to shave my legs too!  Totally forgot about that.  This 16 oz Sugar Free Red Bull better get me through the night!  I may just have to pick some more up at the grocery store.  WOOOO WEEKEND!!!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Envisage 365

Today is the first of 365 posts I'll be contributing to the Envisage 365 Blog.

Check it out!  I'm "Nicole Two" if you want to see my posts or you could see what's going on in the other women's lives.

Thanks for reading :)

My biggest fear

I emailed my grandma to make a phone date for this weekend and her response was telling.  It was about three sentences long.  She agreed on the time, asked if I was going to church, and asked if Cooper and I had a boyfriend.  Not just me.  Cooper, too.  Like I said...telling.

No Grandma, I'm not going to church.  I'm currently at odds with Christianity.  Sure, Jesus is my homeboy, but I am really, really struggling with how the church handles certain issues and I don't like hypocrites.  So there's that. 

No Grandma, Cooper and I don't have a boyfriend.  Why does this EFFING question keep coming up?  It's seriously freaking me out.  Is my biological clock ticking?  Am I the only one who doesn't hear it? 

Which brings me to my biggest fear...growing old alone.  The thing is I know I'm only 23 years old.  That's not old.  It's like my fear of dying a virgin when I was in high school (yes, that was a legitimate fear of mine--but what if I had died of leukemia or meningitis or any other disease teenagers seems to get).  I think it's because throughout the day I think of all the things that can go wrong, like a building falling over, or a bridge collapsing, or my apartment burning down, or getting mugged in my parking lot...the list goes on.  Maybe my real fear is of death?

Anyway, I have this life plan in my head.  It's a very rough draft, as a life plan should be, and I can fill in and take out goals as I go along.  It includes "The Big Three" -- Engagement, Marriage, Kids.  This is it roughly from now until I'm 40:
23-28 date, no kids, buy a condo, pay off student loans
28-30 get engaged, maybe kids but they're probably an accident surprise
30-35 get married, have kids, make more money than in my 20s so I can vacation lots more!, buy a big house
35-40 raise kids, don't act old, make even more money, renovate my big house

I think it's a pretty good plan.  It gives me ample time to enjoy life and enjoy myself.  It's just that I'm 23 and I don't feel like I've been on this earth for almost a quarter of a century.  College made me realize how fast time goes by.  Moving to Florida, moving back to Austin, and working at my current job made me realize it too.  Time is flying by before my very eyes.  Um, hello!  It's September!  In 2010!  Think about that.  You're freaking out now, aren't you?  Thank goodness I'm not the only one!

So while I have five to seven years until my next big milestone [side note: Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On- Club Remix" just came on.  So good!] I'm so scared I'm going to die alone with my cats eating my face.  I want kids, and I want a husband, just not right now.  Or really anytime soon.  Heck, I'm not even sure I want to be in a relationship let alone thinking about The Big Three!  There are so many people I know that are getting engaged and married and having babies, and I don't feel ready for any of that.