Thursday, September 16, 2010


I'm in such a weird, moody, angsty place right now, per usual, and I need to work it out.  (Oh, hey there therapist I can't afford....)

Nicole's Goals for the rest of 2010:
1.  Find passion:  I have nothing I'm passionate about.  My roommate loves exercising and doing races.  My mom likes making her dream of becoming a CPA come true...and football.  My step-dad loves golf.  My ex-boyfrand loves hunting.  My best friend loves cats and pretty pictures.  Another bff likes the NRA and theme parties.  And yet another likes domesticity.  And I....I like....?  My dog?  People liking me?  Eating?  Yeah, none of those sound good.

I used to love dancing.  I still like dancing, but I've lost all flexibility and frankly, I don't feel like spending $50 a week to realize I've lost all the skills I worked so hard to perfect throughout high school.  I love to cook, but food is so damn expensive and when a woman's got billz to pay ain't no sense in spending $10 on a ingredient from Whole Foods to create the perfect dish.  I really want running to be my passion because it's free and my dog likes it, and it would give me endorphins which is basically like Cymbalta except there are no side effects save for the occasional strained muscle.

When I was in Florida I was passionate about Jesus Christ (Hallelujah!), singing, and working for the non-profit.  Now that I'm back in Texas I don't go to church because I think my church is hypocritical and I just can't get on board with people who are totes cool with hanging with homeless people, but gays are sinners.  Well screw you too, dude!  Now I'm not a lesbian, but sometimes I want to be.  Guys are such pricks sometimes!  I constantly wonder if I'm ever going to find the love of my life, or if I'll just end up settling for some homeless dude I met at church because it's time to make babies.  (Good thing I don't go to church.)

Wow, off topic much?

2.  Make more money: Did you know that money makes the world go round?  It's not love and sure as hell isn't friends.  It's money.  You have to have money to do anything you want.  Let's say I become passionate about running, as is the plan.  I then want to sign up for a race.  Did you know marathons cost like $100-something?!?!  Yeah, they do.  And there's the training groups, the running shoes and the surprise costs of anything you ever do happy hour with your training group!  I really want to run a marathon.  Real bad.  Really, really bad.  It's actually very hard for me to get my ass of the couch and run.  I think I've done it once since living at my apartment TWO BLOCKS FROM TOWN LAKE!  Shameful.  Cooper, however, has no problem bolting through the door and sprinting to the lake.  Don't mind the cars zooming past or anything, animal.  He's a special dog.

Know what I most want to spend my money on?  A trip to visit one of my best friends who is 11 weeks preggers and is so alone and going through probably one of the hardest times of her life.  It sucks so so so so bad that I can't be there for her.  I make enough money to get by, sometimes pay all of my bills and not save anything.  Recently I took on another job working at UT games but that gig sucked so hard, and my babysitting jobs are few and far between these days.  I just hope she knows that I wish I could magically make a plane ticket appear and we could have a fun weekend like we have in the past.  I miss her so much it hurts.

3.  Make my bills disappear:  I just really need them gone.  They're hindering my day to day social life and that is just not ok.  If anyone has Fiddy-thou laying around that they don't need, I would be more than happy to take it off your hands.

4.  Cut out crappy friends: You know who are you and if you suck at being a friend then I'll suck right back!  Granted, I've been known to be somewhat aloof when I'm off in my own world doing things like thinking about my goals for the rest of 2010, but still, don't act like an asshat towards me and think everything's totes cool, because it's not.  Admit you treated me suckily, and maybe I'll forgive you.  I'll probably forgive you.  I'm better at being friends than acquaintances or enemies.

5.  Delete all the pictures of trannies from my phone from the drag show last Friday: Happy Birthday E-baby!

6.  Be a better friend/Not be selfish: I think this is more of a life goal but baby steps, people!

Annoyances:  The woman in the HEB parking lot

I think we all know my feelings on the men in blue (and I don't mean the navy) and it's that they're detestable creatures who can suck it and save the world in someone else's neighborhood.  They're generally there at the indignation of those around them, and if you could please lead to an example of where they really, truly helped a situation I probably will still think they're ignorant asses who need to get a life, just like the woman in the HEB parking lot!

Yesterday I had a stomach bug.  I didn't feel well at all.  In fact, I left work before noon because I felt so nauseous.  I came home, napped, woke up starving, and headed to the HEB down the street to get some Pepto and a deli sammich.  While there I grabbed a couple of other items, but knowing that my sweet, precious baby dog was in the car patiently waiting for me, I was pretty hasty.  When I came out my puppy was barking at me (because he's always barking) and so I started talking to him.

Me: "Cooper baby, why are you barking?"
Annoying woman: "Because you left him in the hot car.  Did you know that it's against the law to leave a dog in a car unattended and is a $1000 fine."
"Thanks for the information."
"Did you know that the temperature of a car increases 5 degrees every minute?"
"That's great."
"Well I took your license plate number down."
"My dog is fine."
"Do you want to call the cops?"
"Sure lady, let's call the cops."
"Ok, well blah blah blah I'm an annoying pest here to ruin your day blah blah blah..."

I don't remember exactly what she said next because she had hit "The Nerve."  Do you know what "The Nerve" is?  A very select few friends have seen it.  My parents have seen it.  My aunt and uncle have seen it.  Pretty much if you've lived with me, then you've seen it.  I blow up a la Mount Everest circa 1980 and shit goes down.

I'm pretty sure every expletive I've ever heard in my life was spewed at this woman, and she had her fair share of choice words for me.  It took everything in me not to get out of my car and react...violently.  You see, I have a serious problem with people giving me unwarranted advice.  A serious problem.  This stranger thought the best way to go about getting her M.O. known was to bother another stranger whose dog was fine.  He was parked in the shade with the windows down for less than ten minutes.  It was probably close to eight if we're going to get techinical.

If we're also going to get technical (and for anyone else who has to deal with people like this) here's the City of Austin ordinance regarding animals in cars:
(A) A person may not transport an animal in a motor vehicle on a public roadway unless:
(1) the animal is safely enclosed within the vehicle; or
(2) if the animal is transported in an unenclosed vehicle, including a convertible, pick-up truck, flatbed truck, or motorcycle, the animal shall be confined in a secure and appropriately sized vented container or confined in a manner that prevents the animal from falling or jumping from the vehicle or otherwise being injured.
(B) A person may not keep an animal in a motor vehicle or other enclosed space in which the animal's health or life is endangered by high temperature, low temperature, or inadequate ventilation.
      (1) A peace officer or animal control officer may, after attempting to locate the animal's owner, remove the animal from a vehicle or enclosed space using any reasonable means, including breaking a window or lock. If professional services are required to remove the animal, the owner is responsible for the cost.
      (2) A peace officer or animal control officer who removes an animal from a vehicle or enclosed space in accordance with this subsection is not liable for any resulting property damage.

So now you know and hopefully you'll be able to spit this one out at your next encounter with a do-gooder from Hell.

PS: Check out the photo blog I'm a part of!   Envisage 365


  1. I've seen The Nerve. It's not pretty.

    And I feel the same way about not really being passionate about anything. I think it's an early 20s thang. I'm working on it.

    -Baby Caits

  2. Several thoughts:
    1. I want to start running too. Let's encourage each other, and maybe even run together sometimes:)
    2. You don't have to go to church to be passionate about Jesus. He didn't go to church. I'm having a lot of trouble with church myself, and as of the spring I'll be in seminary. Lets talk about this when we run
    3. I am the flakiest of flakes. I got more flakes than a biscuit. I'm sorry.
    4. Come see us. When are you free?