Guilty Pleasure

I have a secret guilty pleasure: Wedding videos. 

It doesn't matter if I know the couple or not, I love watching "the happiest day of their lives."  The love and beauty of a wedding always makes me tear up.  The most recent wedding video I saw was no different and I'd like to share it with you.

Coco + James // Short film from Americana Cinema on Vimeo.

After Party Crashers

This past week was Fashion Week in Austin, and I really could not have cared less.  I can't do my hair (hello, hair dye job FAIL) so I usually just put mousse in it and run out the door.  I'm not a size 2 (or even close).  I can't afford ridiculously priced designer clothes (shoes are a different story).  But I do like parties so when I heard the after party for the Awards Show was being held at the Frost Bank tower I knew I was going.  Did I have an invite?  Does it matter?  (Answer: no.)

My good friend Marla came to my apartment to get ready for the night.  I figured the best way to look fashionable was to wear something that completely doesn't go with the ensemble so you look a little bit stupid.  So I wore a Marilyn Monroe-esque dress with Betsey Johnson black and silver pumps and made my hair really big.  FASHION!

Marla wore a tiny little black dress with black heels and a bright blue necklace to accent her pretty red hair, and she looked so pretty!  I did our makeup and Marla was concerned the purple eyeshadow I used on her made her look like she had been punched.  It didn't.  Whatever.

I drove to the Tower and admittedly, I was a little nervous.  I honestly didn't know if this was going to work.  I work in the Tower, but not on the top floor that the party was on, and I not only didn't have an invite but didn't attend one Fashion Week event during the week.  Good thing I'm good at bullshit!  My BA in English did teach me something.

We go to the elevator bank and there are three skinny ass girls in really cute cocktail dresses blocking the way.  One has a clipboard. 

"Name?"
"Nicole Kennedy.  I work here."
"Ok, you're not on the PGI list.  Let me text my supervisor and see if you're on the list upstairs."
.....waiting, waiting, waiting...
"Ok he's not texting me, but you have your badge so you can go ahead and go on up."
"Thanks!"

We go upstairs, get off the elevator and it is packed.  The food smelled amazing.  There was free booze everywhere.  And we were on the top floor of the Frost Bank Tower!  Sweet!  We wandered around and people watched a bit, looked out the window, took some pictures, and then I got really bored.  It was so "see and be scene" which was to be expected but is still obnoxious. 

After about 45 minutes we were ready to go.  As we approach the elevator bank to head downstairs we see they're giving swag bags away!  SCORE!  I love free things! 

It had goodies like a water bottle, notepad, free hair treatments, free meals at restaurants, discounts at stores and spas...lots of stuff!  Even if the party wasn't all I thought it would be I think it was a success solely because of the swag bag.  Did I mention I love free?  I hope they have the party here again next year!

The weekend of amazing stories!

This weekend was pretty fabulous not just for me, but for the entire world as well!  I got to work (almost late!--damn elevator traffic) this morning and checked my two usual websites for news snippets I might find interesting (MSN and Perez Hilton- both very scientific and knowledgeable news outlets about all things current) and hot damn!  There are some crazy things going on in the world.

Perhaps the majority of people are completely aware of everything that goes on in the world because you have TV or an interest in it...or something.  I don't have TV.  I don't like TV.  Not ordering cable was one of the best decisions I've ever made because I get out of my apartment so much more.  I'm more social (which is hard to believe) and my life is just more fun and exciting and full in general without the burden of have "my shows."

Anyway, the top stories that caught my eye (and that hopefully you'll find interesting too!) are:

• Miners in Chile have been stuck in a mine for 17 days and all 33 ARE ALIVE!  What absolutely wonderful and amazing news, especially for their loved ones to hear!
• I thought Austin traffic was terrible until I read this.  60 miles.  9 days.  No thank you.
• Sookie and Bill got married IN REAL LIFE this weekend!  (Note: I have yet to catch up on the 3rd season because it's not on DVD yet :-[ )
• A traffic stop resulted in a surprise birth!
• I think I only like this guy because he's Texan.  Southern boys are my Achilles heel.  So pretty. *Sigh*

I hope everyone's weekend was just as wonderful and crazy and fabulous as mine!  Here's a pic from my Saturday night.  It's a little blurry but it's at the Austin Fashion Week Awards Show After Party.  No, I wasn't invited.  We snuck in.  And got swag bags.  More on that tomorrow!

And I like this picture I took on Friday.  Do you know where it is?  The picture is pretty famously associated with the restaurant.

My night in pictures

I'm super busy at work today so these pictures from last night will have to suffice:

Artsy elevator pic...on our way to 6th!

Hey, wait a minute....

I like the lighting in this

Jonny Gray taking the stage while the scheduled performer takes a break.  Jonny was better.

The bathroom at Coyote Ugly.  Great...now you know I went to Coyote Ugly.

Precious Doctor Whiskers greeting me before I left for work

Have an AMAZING weekend!!  I'll be helping out at a Community Leadership Project, crashing a snazzy Fashion Week soiree, riding my bike, writing, and hanging with my pup! 

Tainted Childhood

I went about my usual routine getting ready for work--

6:00 am: alarm goes off
6:01 am: turn off alarm
6:01 am: Cooper starts barking
6:37 am: Cooper goes back to sleep

7:15 am: second alarm goes off
7:15 am: hit "snooze"
7:15 am: Cooper starts barking
7:24 am: hit "snooze"
7:33 am: turn off alarm and get up because Cooper won't stop barking
7:35 am: walk the dog
7:45 am: feed the dog
7:46 am: take a shower
7:55 am: do my hair & makeup
8:05 am: find something to wear
8:10 am: when I should be walking out the door
8:17 am: walk out the door and see this face

8:18 am: speed to work (hopefully with no traffic or I'll be late)

My routine really can't be messed with because there isn't much leeway for screwing around.  I don't eat breakfast at home because it's more time efficient to eat it at the office.  The only thing that sucks about that is if there is a morning meeting, then I don't get to eat until 10:00 am or so.  Then I get upset.  One of the hazards of being me is that when I don't eat I get grumpy and sad at the same time, and if I'm just dying of hunger there's a chance I'll start crying.  I'm not normal.

As I was getting ready this morning a song from my childhood came on: "The Banana Song" by The Cranberries.  It is the best song EVERRRRR and it's oh so much fun to dance to and yell "BANANA BANANA" over and over again at the chorus!!!  Oh, you haven't heard of that song?  That's because most people know it as "Salvation," but my parents were cruel and didn't correct sweet, innocent baby me when "The Banana Song" came on.  I would just sing sing sing to my little heart's desire a song ABOUT HEROIN.  It was constantly on repeat during our many roadtrips.  The song ABOUT HEROIN!!!  No wonder I am who I am.   I wasn't like normal kids rocking out to Hanson or 98 Degrees (yes I was), but was rocking out to a song where the singer melodically, beautifully sings about HEROIN!  Thanks parents for allowing me to become so obsessed and in love with a song about bananas (my favorite fruit, and I'm pretty sure this song was the reason for ever even choosing a favorite fruit, because really, who has a favorite fruit besides the kid who sings about heroin?).

PS: This is a perfect explanation of how freakin delicious the Beer Brat from Man Bites Dog at the South Austin Trailer Park & Eatery.

PPS: When I told my mom what the lyrics were to this song she told me that it was okay because it was about not doing heroin.  Good call, mother.  Good call.  Parenting in the 90s at its finest.

Nicole and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Date

Men beware.  Like the illustrious Taylor Swift once said: “If guys don’t want me to write songs about them, they shouldn’t do bad things!" and the same goes for my bloggy blog (as I affectionately call it).  I don't mean it as a threat, but there's really no reason to be a complete and total asshat and think you can get away with it.

My plan is to list out my worst dating experiences (no names because I'm nice-ish) and then I will elaborate as time goes on about each one.  I also know that this list isn't nearly long enough because my memory stinks, so as I recall more and more idiotic things guys have done I will add them. 

 Nobody knows the stupidity I've seen, but they're about to:

• Boyfriend who wouldn't let me attend fraternity mixers (or really any party) my freshman year
• Boyfriend who ignored my phone calls and texts for over a week before finally coming out and saying he wanted to break up. 
• Boyfriend who paid for two dates (birthday and Valentine's) total in our entire year-long relationship
• Boyfriend who had a relationship on the side while he was away at school
• Guy who would only allow me to come over if his roommates weren't there (I figured that one out quick)
• Guy who didn't remember me at a party a year after we had dated
• Guy who got so drunk on our date I feared for my life on the drive home
• Guy who drove way too fast on a dirt road and popped a tire...on our second date.  In 100 degree weather.  In the middle of nowhere.
• Guy who told me he wanted to be with me and to leave my boyfriend, and then left me after I did.
• Guy (who I had been dating) who drunkenly entered my apartment after my roommate had left the door unlocked at three in the morning. 
• The "hot and cold" guy (There's a lot of these so it's just a type.  He wants to hang out constantly for a couple days and then a week goes by with no contact.  Then it's another couple of days of consistency, then nothing.  He may ignore calls and texts too, but all of a sudden the tables turn and for a couple of days your phone is blowing up.  Then it's silent again.  Games suck, dude.  You either want me or you don't.)
• Guy who was in love with me after one night.  Seriously.  He talked about "love languages."  No sir, no way.
• Guy who was in love with me and wanted to "do anything to make us work" after meeting in online dating and talking for a couple of days.  He was blocked.
• Guy who was so terrified of germs he made me use hand sanitizer after washing my hands in the bathroom before dinner.  Then when the menu touched his fork he asked if he could have mine.  He was also obsessed with the number 11.
• Guy who had the audacity to show me a picture of his wife and children while out and about downtown and openly flirting with me.
• And speaking of infidelity: guy who showed me the condo that he had purchased...with his fiance!
• Guy who told me to meet him at the beach for the weekend with my friends, and then never showed up because he was too wasted to make it

I know there are many more that my little head just can't remember right now.  Please feel free to share your own terrible dating experience!  I wonder if guys have similar lists because I know for sure I'm not a saint when it comes to dating.  I'm definitely guilty of avoiding a guy's calls and texts because I didn't like him but didn't know how to tell him.  I feel bad about it, but maybe that all boils down to the whole "I'm awkward and don't know how to read people's feelings" factor."

Great job Glamour! This is a good list!

Glamour Magazine created this list of 23 things single women wish they could tell men.  I agree with most of it!
 
1. Every woman could use one compliment a day.
2. We'd rather you didn't say, "I'll call you" if you really mean "goodbye." Just don't say anything — we won't think you're a jerk as we part ways for the night. And you know the saying that goes, "It's better to under-promise and over-deliver"? How about, just don't promise anything and don't deliver anything.
3. Most of us are not crazy or psycho. We can be emotional and hormonal.
4. If we catch you glancing at our chest when you're a foot away, we'll think you're rude and have no willpower. You can look, but from a distance.
5. Even the most confident among us can act needy and insecure at times. It happens when you start pulling away and we're not aware that that's what you're doing, only that you're acting funny. But oh, you should see how cool and independent most of us are when we're not dating someone.
6. Feminine hygiene commercials are silly, but don't complain about having to watch them. Try having to use them — for several days each month, I mean — for most of your life. When you complain, it makes you look insensitive. And weak. We have no sympathy.
7. Please don't yell when you think we're driving poorly, especially if we're from the west coast and we've never seen a rotary before. Just give us advice, help, or moral support. (P.S. If you stomp your foot on the ground because you think we should brake, well, it's just funny. We will brake if/when we need to.)
8. If you text, "Hows ur week goin?" we can either reply "good" and risk sounding curt (see #16) or we can send you a 400-word document. Don't put us in this position. Just don't text open-ended questions.
9. Texting a girl twice a week does not count as staying in contact. It's meaningless and a waste of everyone's time. Let her go.
10. Booty texts: weak.
11. If you're a mama's boy and you're looking for a wife, think about it: what woman wants to be #2? Consider setting boundaries and work on establishing some independence. You and your mom can have a loving relationship without being co-dependent.
12. After you do something bad, it would be so much better if you called us right away to apologize. You think it's best to wait a few days while we cool off, but what's cooling off is our feelings for you. Man up. The sooner the better.
13. The reason we're up in your grill about what time you're coming over, and the reason we're so good at communicating our own whereabouts, is that since the beginning of time our parents were making us report back to them about where we were and when we'd be home. Most of the girls I knew, including my sister and I, didn't have the freedom the boys in our neighborhood had. Then in college, out of habit, we always told our roommates when we would be home (especially if we went to school in a bad neighborhood), and they did the same.
So that's why we're like that. We've been under tight surveillance since birth and it took a lot of work just to be allowed (FINALLY) to ride our bikes un-chaperoned to the movie theater. Now we're trained. If you don't like that we're this way, take it up with our parents.
14. High heels really hurt.
15. Teasing won't bait us. Attempting to wear us down is annoying.
16. 5-word emails seem cranky. Efficient, yes. Loving, no. Greet. Ask questions. Elaborate where possible.
17. If we say we're babysitting for a friend, we did not say we want to have a baby now and that we want you to be the dad. "I'm babysitting" simply means, "I'm busy being a good friend." You are paranoid and it's embarrassing.
18. Stop talking about marrying us until you actually give one of us a ring.
19. Please be aware of how serious and in love you sound. Just say, "I like you," not, "Let's fly to Miami next month." (I thought guys were supposed to be direct.) Sure, it sounds cooler (and less vulnerable) to talk a big game about Miami, but come next month, you won't remember saying anything about Miami.
20. If a girl has pretty eyes, she has probably heard men tell her that five thousand times. It's fine to repeat the compliment, but you'll make a much bigger impression if you find something else to compliment.
21. As far as having children goes, you have the luxury of time. Appreciate it.
22. Taking us for granted is probably the worst thing you could do after cheating and lying. Since women are very good at appreciating each other, your behavior looks kinda selfish to us.
23. The word is "cherish." Do you cherish her?