Sunny days are here again

Taco Tuesday was delish last night!  I made regular ol' beef taco salad with a black bean soup.  Yummo!  It was the smallest Taco Tuesday I think I've ever had- just my roommate, David, and Emma.  Next week we're celebrating Fat Tuesday because the following week's TT will be a special surprise!!

After dinner, we started to watch a really weird movie with Eva Longoria called Without Men.  I thought it might be good even though it was on Netflix {and we all know Netflix doesn't have the best selection of movies...} because it starred Eva and Christian Slater!  Emma couldn't stand it but I was so intrigued as to why Eva would choose to do this movie.  The acting was really out-of-this-world terrible.  And everyone is so complacent with their gender role in the community, but I was thinking well maybe it's like this in Latin America?  {I think that's where the movie took place.}  Guys boss around girls and the girls can't seem to function without men.  I want to finish watching it.  I don't think we gave it enough time to get past the suckage.

I'm currently digging these guys on the YouTube:

• A red-headed Alabama boy singing my favorite Marvin Gaye song: Bam!
• A super intense Brit who likes Twilight singing R. Kelly's "Ignition": Zing!

If I like a song, it's on repeat until I find the next song I'm obsessed with.  The song I've been obsessing over before these two lovely gentleman is really popular right now {sidenote: ohmagah I am about to cut a bitch!  There is constant construction on the floor above me and they keep dropping shit and banging and drilling.  Rull annoying, guys.  Make it stop!}.

Swedish House Mafia - Don't You Worry Child: Kablam!

This afternoon (aka in like, 15 minutes) I'm heading to do some recon for our company volleyball tournament.  After such an ugly day yesterday, it will be nice to have a meeting while soaking up some sun on a patio.  Good 'ol Texas weather-- it's never boring!

Yesterday 4:00pm

Today 3:30pm

Then I'm meeting an ADPi friend to plan our alumni group's annual fundraising party.  I'm super excited about it all!  We're trying to appeal to a wider community audience this year so hopefully our committee approves all of our ideas.  Like the safari theme.  And a DJ.  And lower ticket prices.  Those are the big things.  Oh, and a complete name change.  Go big or go home, people!  I really hope they approve it all...

Tonight I'm heading to TurboKick and I know it's going to kick my ass.  It's so tough!  I sweat buckets and want to die while I'm doing it, but I feel so accomplished afterwards.  Anything to keep busy, though!

Off to the sunshiney patio!

Trying to find my happy place

I'm an outwardly happy person.  I try to be because I myself can't stand to be around Debbie Downers, but ughhh I cannot shake the sad.  It's been really tough this past week to not stop thinking about and analyzing every detail leading up to the break-up. 

I have stopped crying.  That's a win!  I only listen to NPR and songs that have nothing to do with love.  Because right now I just feel sick to my stomach any time I think about it.  I have been constantly surrounding myself with friends.  And as much as I want to stop talking about it, I can't!  It's the only thing on my mind and I hate that!

A friend suggested a book to me, It's Called a Breakup Because it's Broken, that should be arriving to my door in the next few days.  She and a friend of hers read it and it helped both of them to heal from their heartbreak.  I also love that there's a pint of ice cream on the cover.  Ha!

I've made a few goals for the remainder of the year to help me keep my focus and not just wail about how much life sucks.  Because it doesn't suck.  It just sucks right now and I know it'll eventually get better and I'll be able to move on with my life, not constantly dwelling on the past.

By December 31st, 2013 I will:

• Take the GMAT and get into business school (which means I also need to decide on which program I want to do!).
• Not date until 2014.
• Strive to eat healthier and drink less.
• Find my zen at yoga at least once a week.
• Go on a trip, just me and Coop.
• Move on

I had such a great meal with Katie, Nathan, and Brian last night, and I will miss those two boys while they're off exploring a new city.  We ate at Coal Vines in Uptown and I had the roasted chicken with arugala salad.  Super tasty!  They have these zuchinni chips as an appetizer that are incredible!!  And lots of wine. :)

Today it's raining in Dallas.  The storm moved in really quickly and the radar had a red line going across the screen, but actually being in the thick of the storm 17 stories up, it's not too bad.  I expected more lightning and thunder.  Here's a view from my desk.

Tonight's Taco Tuesday and I'm going old school with some good 'ol crunchy beef tacos.  Except mine will be over a bed of lettuce with no cheese or tortilla shell.  Yeast Free has helped me lose two pounds so far!  {It was four but then I ate and drank my weight this past weekend.}

It's 5:00 now.  Goodbyeeeee!

Weekend Update: Single in the City

This weekend was a little bit out of control, but I had so much fun that I don't even care that I didn't get any laundry done, or get groceries for the week, or deal with anything for my sorority alumni party planning.  Or be frugal.  No, no.  I had fun.  And a lot of it.  And I was surrounded by friends and went back to my favorite bar of all time AND DRANK BEER!  Beer is not on my diet.  But beer is delicious.

I'd like to say the weekend started on Thursday when I went home from work sick and napped in the sunshine for five hours.  Heaven!  I'm so thankful for sunny days in January.  It makes me so excited for summer!

Friday we had a work happy hour at St. Ann's and a couple of us decided to stay for dinner.  Oh man.  St. Ann's is so freakin' delicious.  And valet is free so that makes me like it 10 times more.  I had the bacon jalepeno bites.  With wine.

Then I went back home and took forever trying to find an outfit I liked.  There were none so I settled on one that was meh and met up with friends at The Lemon Bar.  I hadn't been there before and it seems pretty swanky.  The upstairs bar is cool and lounge-ish.  After that we went to The Old Monk and that's where the night ended.  Sadly it wasn't the Slip Inn.  But it was a good night!  An old (really old) man at The Old Monk offered to take me on a trip to go skiing in Colorado and a girl gave me an Uber gift card (Sweet!) and also possible freelance doing copy for her PR company!  Makin' out like a bandit, I tell you!

Saturday morning I was awoken by Molly telling me to get my ass ready for brunch.  So I did!  We went to The Cedars Social and ohmagah SOOOOO great!  Ask for Danny.  He's a cutie and an awesome waiter.  Our bottomless mimosas were never empty.  Ever.  And I had the steak and eggs.  Paleo FTW!

Then we went back to her place for some wining and dinosaurs.  But Jurassic Park didn't record!  BLAST!  So one Walmart trip later we were back with Jurassic Park and a meat tray.  Mmmmmm meat.  We slumbered for a short while with the pups before heading out for dinner. 

Max's Wine Dive, y'all.  Do yourselves a favor and go.  The waitstaff is awesome and the food is sooo good.  We started our with Chicken Fried Brussels Sprouts and Duck Leg with White Bean.  Then we split a 26oz steak with au gratin potatoes and bone marrow.  And now my mouth is watering.

That's my empty plate with three wine glasses because Molly couldn't decide which wine she wanted.  Gotta try 'em all!

Sunday morning I went to yoga with Sarah and then met up with friends at the best bar in the entire world, The Bottle Shop.  That is seriously my happy place. 

On top of such a fun-filled weekend, Cooper let me sleep in until 9:00am both days!  He's usually an early riser so we're up by 7:00am at the latest, so it was the cherry to my delicious Sundae of a weekend.  If this is what single is like, I think I'm going to be just fine.

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Moving on

I'm feeling a lot better and I'm in a much better place since Tuesday night.  It still hurts to know that our relationship is over, and I know that most of that hurt is from the abrupt ending and lack of closure, but I'm trying my best to move on and stay positive.  I'm pretty good at seeing the positives in a situation, and I do, but that doesn't make the hurting just stop.

My friends have been doing an amazing job of making me feel loved and taking my mind off the situation.  And they're there to hash everything out and go over the details when I want to and give me the reassurance that I need right now.  I'm feeling vulnerable.  They're helping me pick up the pieces.

But I know that you can't make a person love you and I have to keep telling myself that.  The crying has mostly stopped.  The pain is still there and sometimes it really does feel like there's a part of me missing.  This was the first relationship that I was in that I fell hard and fast and I couldn't help but put his happiness above mine.  I thought he was perfect for me.  I've never felt so committed to anyone as I was with him.  He made me happy just being around him.  And I miss him. 

I've had this thought in the back of my head that maybe we'll get back together, but we could never do that.  His actions, the way that he ended it with a lack of emotion or care for me, make me realize a major character flaw.  I still think he's a wonderful person, but I could never trust him with my heart again.  And that really makes me sad.

This weekend will be really good for me.  Tonight I'm going out with friends to dance and drink.  A lot.  Tomorrow I'll wake up late and maybe go shopping before heading to yoga with some friends.  Kacie, one of my closest girlfriends, has her birthday party tomorrow night at a restaurant that is probably amazing.  She throws some of the best parties and is so thoughtful to the people invited, atmosphere, and of course, food.  I'm looking forward to it.  Sunday will be a run in the morning and then yoga with Jill.  She's incredible and I'm so looking forward to zenning out with her.  I need to keep myself busy to move on, and I'm doing just that.

Single.

After sleeping on it for a night, I'm feeling slightly better this morning.  But only slightly. 

I'm so angry at this point.  I'm still really sad that our relationship is over, and I feel really dumb that I was so blindsided by the end, but I'm angry because I feel like I had no say.  It was just over.  There was no talking about it {because it was via text, which is just a really shitty way to have any serious conversation.}

I'm trying to see all the positives in my life, and I know they are plenty.

• My friends who immediately offered to come to my house at midnight to cheer me up last night.
• My dog who snored by my side all night long.
• The Dallas Running Club that I just joined.  Endorphins! 
• The weight I'm going to lose because I have absolutely no appetite.  Although I will need to force feed myself if I'm runnning...
• The money I'm going to get back from returning his Valentine's Day present.
• The extra time I will have to focus on studying for and taking the GMAT.  Finally.
• The cute guys I can flirt with when I go out. 
• My awesome coworkers who comfort me at work when I'm a crying mess.  I really do wish I weren't so emotional.
• My friends' husbands/boyfriends that send me nice messages to cheer me up.  I'm so thankful to know that there are mature, stand-up guys out there.
• Can I say my dog again?  I just really love my boy.
• My mom and stepdad who are so supportive of everything I do, even when I fail miserably. {cough:: half-marathon:: cough}

So I know I will get through this crappy time, but I also know it will take time.  This isn't my first break up.  Unfortunately, I've felt heartbreak before.  In the meantime I'll keep myself busy by surrounding myself with friends and focusing on what makes me happy.  I am so thankful for the time that we did have together, because he is a really good guy even though his actions this past day might not reflect that.  I just don't think I can see him for a while.

So I just got broken up with over text message.

I'm so mad and so hurt right now. I want to curse him for making feel this way OVER A TEXT MESSAGE(!!) but my feelings for him aren't just over and gone because he broke up with me.  This sucks so bad!  I can't believe that a day ago he was telling me he loved me and today it isn't working. Wouldn't it have not been working last night too?  Why couldn't he have waited to tell me face to face? I feel like I deserve that much.  

How could I have been so delusional to think that he was in love with me? Did he ever love me or just until he got tired of me? That fucking asshole made me fall in love with him and then he broke my heart! I feel like I should have paid more attention to the signs when he was seeming distant. I tried giving him space and then when that didn't seem to help I talked to him about it...and a week later we're over. I should have been preparing myself for the worst instead of hoping for the best. 

I feel like my confidence is gone. God this really sucks so bad. I feel so alone right now. I fell really fast for Rich and our relationship is ending almost as abruptly. 

Saw it. Pinned it. Did it. - Hair Bow

Linking up with Steph and Katie again today!

I pinned this bad boy a while back, but thought it would be fun to wear today to work.  I have a Minnie Mouse sorta look going on, but I still think it's cute.

Source: blog.poetrycollection.co.za via Nicole on Pinterest

I think I have more layers than the girl in the original pin, so I also wrapped the extra pieces around the bun.  It took me less than five minutes to do this style this morning.

 

 

I still can't figure out how to add their button to my blog so if you can help, please let me know!